Monday, May 16, 2022

The Wonder Toggle - Never Fight Your Guy-Lines Again!

 


Ahhh yes! The guy-line tensioning toggle.

Anyone who's ever camped, or put up a canopy, or erected a badminton net in the back yard, has wrestled with encountered one of these. Or more likely, more than one kind of these because they come in a bunch of different shapes and sizes,


each of which works a little differently than the other.

But they all share some common traits.


They'er all persnickety little things to deal with.

They all add bulk to your gear while lightening your wallet.

Each fits only a specific size of line.

And they all come out of the stuff-sack snarled up as if they're in the middle of a '60's orgy - - Every time!


But what if I told you there's a Wonder-Toggle out there that works on any size and type of line,

Can adjust a guy to any length and tension in seconds.

Can be completely removed even faster.

Doubles the power of a 'traditional' toggle so even Grandma can adjust the tension anywhere from snug to Holy Cow I Could Play A Tune On That!.

Won't loosen or fall apart when shaken by the blusteryest of winds.

Unlike 'traditional' toggles allows you to pass the line around an anchor point such as a tree or tall pole without removing the toggle first.

Adds exactly zero weight or bulk to your gear.

And is free?


See it here?

This Wonder-Toggle I'm talking about?

Right there on this line, all ready to go into action?

No?


How about now?

Actually it's more properly called a trucker's hitch and while it is a wonder, it's nothing new. In fact it's been around since before trucks, which makes this continued infatuation with all these various new-fangled and 'ingenious' toggles all the more baffling.


The Wonder-Toggle might look complicated but without being in any particular rush, once the standing end is anchored and the guy wrapped around the second anchor-point, be that a post, stake, or tree, it takes me about 10 seconds to throw the hitch, tension it just right, and snug it down.

Admittedly there are a number of different ways to tie this hitch and several additional variations, mostly aimed at making it even stronger or more robust such as when securing heavy loads on - well - trucks, but what follows is the way I learned to throw the hitch many years ago and still use today.

This will probably seem complicated at first, but so do the diagrams of even the simplest knots in instruction books trying to teach you how to tie them. I promise, if you grind through this instructional a few times it will become easy. (Of course I may or may not have had my fingers crossed just now - - -)

In my experience, once you get it down, a 10 second trucker's hitch will become second nature and you can finally ditch those pesky toggles.


But before I get started, a couple of terms to help keep things straight.

The initial anchor-point is the end more or less permanently attached.

The standing end of the line is the one closest to the initial anchor-point.

The secondary anchor-point is - well - it's not that hard to figure out which one that is!

The free end of the line is the one closest to the secondary anchor-point.

The dividing line between the standing end and the free end is where-ever you happen to be - well - standing. In the case above everything to the left of my hand is the standing end and everything to the right is the free end.

The loose end is - you guessed it - the loose end of the free end.

And a bight is just a quick and fancy way of saying a bend or kink in the line.


So, back to the Wonder-Toggle.

The first thing, if it's not already done, is to secure the line to the initial anchor-point. That's the end that will stay put as you work on the rest of the hitch.

In the case of a tent or canopy the initial anchor-point is usually attached to said tent or canopy.



In the case of a ridge-line or clothes-line either one of the two supports you've chosen will do for securing the initial anchor-point.

How you secure the initial anchor-point is not important as long as it stays put. I prefer to use a bowline because it is simple, stays in place, and never jambs so is easy to untie, but a slip-knot, a clove-hitch, an overhand knot, will all do nicely under the right circumstances.


Now that the initial anchor-point is secured take the free end of the line over to the secondary anchor-point, which could be a stake in the ground for a tent or another tall support for a ridge-line.

While standing in front of this point and facing it with your dominate shoulder (right if you are right-handed, left if - well - you know) pointing back to the initial anchor-point - in my case, as a left-hander, the tree the initial anchor-point is secured to is off to the left of this photo - pass the free end behind the secondary anchor-point, (That behind bit is kind of important for consistent results!)



then bring the line around in front of the secondary anchor-point so it's heading back towards the initial anchor-point.

Hold the free end there loosely with your non-dominate hand.

Now here's the slightly tricky part, but only tricky the first couple of times you do it, after that it will seem normal.


Hold your dominate hand out in front of you with your palm down and thumb out (Your thumb will be pointing back towards your non-dominate hand at this point.)

Keeping your fingers straight and thumb out, roll or twist your arm 90 degrees so your thumb points down and your palm is facing the initial anchor-point.


Continue to roll (or twist - whichever terminology works for you) your hand another 90 degrees in the same direction so your thumb is now pointing at the initial anchor-point and your arm is twisted up like the string on one of those button-spinners your grandma used to make for you. You know, that kid's toy where the sharp edge of a button is spinning impossibly fast just a couple inches from your eyes as you do your damnedest to break the string it's spinning on!

Keeping your thumb out of the way, wrap the fingertips of your upside-down hand around the line from below.

And apologies. Statistically most of you are right handed and these are all photos of a left-hander throwing this hitch, so you right-handers will have to reverse the images in your head.


Now, keeping hold of the line with your fingertips, un-twist your arm


keeping your thumb out of the way as you do 


until your hand is palm-up and your thumb is pointing back at the initial anchor-point. 

You can uncurl your fingertips now!

All that effort, which in real-time takes no more than a second and a half - if you're moving slow - creates a simple loop in the line, but it creates the loop exactly the right way every time.

Rather ingeniously, if I do say so myself, I label this 'Loop 1'.

Here, and for the next few photos, in an attempt at clarity I've tinted the standing end of the line, the one attached to the initial anchor point, blue and the free end, the end wrapped around the secondary anchor point, yellow.

Again, as a left-hander, here my left thumb is pointing back towards the initial anchor-point, the free end of the line is heading the other way and has been passed around behind the second anchor-point and the loose end of the line is in my non-dominate hand out of frame to the right. (Remember, you are holding the loose end of the line loosely with your non-dominate hand so there is enough slack in the line to form Loop 1 without choking your fingers.)


At this point you finally bring your thumb back into action by slipping it under the standing end part of Loop 1


and pinching the free end part of the loop between thumb and a couple of fingers


so you can pull a bight back through Loop 1.

Without letting go give this new loop, which I call Loop 2, (Oh man! How do I come up with these genius ideas!?) a tug away from the initial anchor-point to collapse Loop 1 and set Loop 2. 


If you did everything right Loop 2 will remain open as you pull it away from the initial anchor-point.


If instead, Loop 2 pinches down on your fingers as you tug it away from the initial anchor-point you were probably standing on the wrong side of the line (i,e, dominate shoulder facing away from the initial anchor-point instead of towards it) when you made Loop 1 with your upside-down hand.

This is no good. Try again!


Now that the hard part of this hitch is done it's time to bring your non-dominate hand, the one holding the loose end of the line, back into action by feeding that loose end up through Loop 2.


Still using your non-dominate hand give the loose end a tug away from the initial anchor-point to tension the guy-line. Notice that Loop 2 is now acting as a pulley, amplifying the power of your tug.


When the tension is right use your dominate hand to pinch the free end of the line tight against the very tip of Loop 2 to temporarily hold it in place for the next couple of steps.

The first of which is to make sure the loose part of the free end is draped over top of the taut part as in the photo above to create yet another loop. - Yeah, OK, let's call it Loop 3 - but this is getting kinda boring.


Here I've substituted a clamp for my thumb and finger because I needed a third hand for the camera. Normally my dominate hand would still be doing the pinching and I would be using my non-dominant hand to finish off the hitch by feeding a bight of the loose part of the free end under the taut part and back up through Loop 3, just like tying half of a shoelace knot.

This creates yet another loop, Loop 4, but I promise, that's the last one!


As you do with your shoelace knot, grab the bight of Loop 4 and give it a jerk, this time towards the initial anchor-point, to collapse Loop 3 and snug the hitch down. Again, normally I would be doing this with my non-dominate hand while my dominate hand kept the 'pinch' secure until this final part of the hitch was snug, but - well, camera and all - -


And that's it!

You can let go of everything now and and your tensioned guy-line will stay right there.

Just remember, because of the 'pulley' action of Loop 2 you can use this trucker's hitch to apply a whole lot of force to the guy-line and while guitar-string tight is what you want for a ridge-line or clothes-line, that's not always what you want when guying out a tent or canopy. In addition to excess tension over- stressing whatever the initial anchor-point is attached to, you really do want a little bit of give in tent and canopy guy-lines so that when the wind hits everything gives a little and spreads the load out over multiple components decreasing the odds of a single-component failure.

OK, this has gone on for a while but to finish up real quick, here's the 3 second process for breaking down a guy tied off with a Wonder-Toggle - - I mean a trucker's hitch.


Like with your shoelaces, grab that loose end and pull until Loop 4 pops free, taking Loop 3 with it.

At this point you can either tighten or loosen the guy by adjusting the tension, re-pinching, and throwing Loops 3 then 4 back into place.

But if you are breaking things down rather than re-adjusting,

then pull the free end completely out of Loop 2,


grab hold of the line on both sides of Loops 1 and 2 and pull them out of the line too.

Your wonder-toggle is now completely gone.

Because there's no hard and bulky toggle left to tangle things up or abrade the stuffed, rolled, or folded canopy or tent I generally leave the initial anchor-points of my guy-lines attached and and just pack them up along with the tent or canopy so they're ready for next time. 


Because I can make Loops 1 and 2 anywhere along the guy-line I want it's easy to compensate for conditions.

For instance, the nearest guy here goes all the way down to a stake in the ground using up a lot of line, but the far guy is tied off to a corner of the greenhouse making it much shorter. (That bit dangling to the ground over there is just the extra length of the loose end) I compensated for this by putting Loops 1 and 2 up closer to where the initial anchor-point is tied off to the canopy.

I already pointed out that the trucker's hitch can be used on pretty much any sized line. For visibility purposes I used an old bit of  3/16 inch diameter cotton clothes-line for most of these photos, but that high-viz line that's been continuously bracing my canopy through the spring winds for a couple of months now is only 2mm in diameter.

By the way, since this hitch stays in place through all sorts of conditions I haven't had to adjust these guys since I put them up.

So happy Wonder-Toggling ???!

                Happy Trucker Hitching ????????

                                Nope. That doesn't sound right either!

                                         Oh hell - - - whatever - - -


Monday, May 2, 2022

What Strange Hell is This! (and a Tomato Update)

 This is a rather inconsequential post.

Even more so than most of mine.

But, in the way of those with older bodies, I've been sort of sidelined from real hiking - therfore real posts - for several months now with some sort of an Achilles injury. Nothing serious enough to completely curtail normal movement, pack-less laps around the property, the felling of trees, even collecting a couple of tubs full of rock (for the next big project) but enough to make hiking any distance with the weight of a backpack somewhat problematic. (I was sure that I was finally over it but a couple miles with a 30 pound pack the other day said otherwise.) So I'm making do with what I have - you know, post-wise. 


Injury or not, the chores don't stop, and when I say chores that often includes The Wife's latest craft project that I somehow end up working on ('but you're so much better at it than I am!' - Ha! If that's the case why do I hear 'You're doing it wrong!' so often?!) and when I glanced up as I was stringing these poor creatures up by their noses


or even more ignominiously in the case of the green cats down on the far end, by their butts, I got a creepy vibe.

As I stood up and looked at the carnage it flashed through my mind that this was the sort of stuff that ends up on Dateline or Snapped. (And I wouldn't be the guy the neighbors say 'I never would have guessed.' about. I'd be the guy they'd say 'I always knew there was something off about him!'.)


I think the cats were even more outraged after I painted their butts electric blue as they hung there unceremoniously by their tails.

I couldn't tell if that was the evil eye or just indignation.

Yep, that's definitely one of the trees there that I need to take down before it falls down. 

Fortunately I didn't get the same attitude


from the ceramic fish.

And apparently, once The Wife finished working her makeover magic on them, even the formerly weathered and peeling cats were happy with the results.


By the way, I was asked by one of my precious few readers for updates on this year's tomatoes and since I can't afford to piss off any of my already sparse audience: 

This was the state of things just after planting the seedlings on March 25


This is where we're at as of April 28.

Three of the 5 plants have reached up to the third ring on the cages, one has topped the second ring,  - - and over there on the right, the Ball's Beefsteak has barely made it over the first ring, and without a blossom in sight.

Maybe that's just the way of Beefsteaks and it will take off soon, but we have never had much luck with them in the past either. (But The Wife really loves the idea of a perfect BLT so we keep trying.)


One of them, that saucy little bitch the Sungold Cherry,  fired off her first batch so close to the ground I'm having to keep a bit of plastic down there to keep them out of the dirt.


The others are being a little better behaved and are setting fruit more traditionally.



Monday, April 25, 2022

Disk Free at Last!


In 1997, when Netflix first came on the home-entertainment scene, we were living in the city and had quick access to places like Blockbuster with it's easy parking, inviting storefront, and mind-numbing array of selections.

Between that and still being a VCR household we didn't take much notice of the DVD offerings of Netflix and just continued Bustering it.


Come 2002 we were living on the edge of a small rural town and the nearest Blockbuster was about 40 miles away, but we still had Audio Video Plus within a couple miles of the house.

Think of a highly compressed mashup of Radio Shack, Best Buy, and Blockbuster. Oh, and they are also the local authorized cable, Hughes Net, Viasat, Dish, and DirectTV installers.

With the convenience of a nearby video rental outlet we carried on with our VCR pretty much as before, but, even though I was only home for movie-night a couple of nights a week now, with Audio Video Plus' four short aisles of choices limited to what was most popular at the time and then only a few copies of each, often all rented out, we finally broke down and bought a DVD player (Actually a combination VCR and DVD although nowadays I do not recommend buying combination appliances such as charger/inverters because one function or the other is bound to eventually break and it's less expensive to replace the one broken part rather than pay for a broken bit plus buy the unbroken bit all over again!)


 and as of June 2005 became members of the Netflix crowd.

Those were still the heady days of quick and reliable USPS service.

We would put a disk in the mail prior to that day's pickup, Netflix would have it in their hands the following morning and - even though Netflix was processing disks by hand at the time with actual people slitting the envelopes open, pulling the disk out, scanning the code, and slotting it into the appropriate bin - ship us the next disk that afternoon. In time for it to hit our mailbox the following day.

Send a disk back and two days later have a new one in the box. With a three disk plan and a three day cycle period it was well worth the subscription cost especially since Netflix gave us access to stuff beyond the lowest-common-denominator drivel of the networks.

Yeah, well that, the three-day turnaround, doesn't happen anymore. In fact it's gotten to the point, between Netflix wanting to get rid of us DVD'ers and 'No Joy' DeJoy's service-gutted USPS, where it often takes a week and a half now from the time we put a batch of disks in the mailbox and when we get a fresh bunch back.


Those early days were also the days when, if the disk at the top of our queue had a 'short wait' advisory on it Netflix would often send us a 4th disk (on our 3 disk plan) to tide us over while we waited.

Nowadays a short-wait disk will hang up there on the top of the queue for months before we finally get our hands on it, with no extra disks forthcoming while we wait.

And it seems like Netflix DVD is stocking fewer and fewer copies of disks too. When Netflix DVD released the 6th season of Brokenwood Mysteries and the 7th season of Vera the first disks immediately went to short-wait and it was 4 months after the release before we had a chance to watch them. This has been pretty typical for the past couple of years.


Speaking of release dates, the 7th season of Lucifer is out there somewhere, (The Wife practically swoons when Tom Ellis sings so we will grind through the violence of an entire season in the hopes of him singing once in a while) but on Netflix DVD season 5 hasn't even been released yet. It's currently stuck in our saved queue, which is not the actual queue they send us disks from. The saved queue is what happens when Netflix teases us into clicking on something they say is in their catalog but it really isn't.

Notice that we currently have 44 items in our saved queue. Some of which have been in there for years with no signs of ever coming to our mailbox.



Speaking of Queues and how many disks are in them, in the early days we found so much stuff of interest in the Netflix DVD catalog that our queue, the real one, was often on the high side of 50 disks long. Lately we have been struggling to keep half a dozen disks in our queue, and often a healthy portion of those will be re-runs of stuff we watched a long time ago but would rather watch over again than sit through most of the new crap on offer today.



So, with service and choices declining why have we stuck with Netflix DVD for all this time? 

First of all, out here in our remote location with the only available choice being pretty slow satellite internet with a limited amount of monthly data, streaming is not an option. A few movies, assuming we were willing to sit through all the buffering delays, and we're cut off until next month.

Secondly, for the past decade or so the new crap on offer through the hundreds of channels on cable or satellite TV service is - well - crap. It seems that the current American viewing taste leans towards fake reality or heavily CGG'ed stuff or shootem-ups or fantasies or over-the-top suspense and horror crap. (We watch TV in the evenings to be entertained while we wind the day down and relax, not to be subjected to the manufactured 'drama' of other people's 'private' lives or be kept on the edge of our chairs and awake all night by the increasingly lurid crap being spoon-fed to an evermore desensitized audience!)

Accordingly, through Netflix DVD we started watching stuff that appealed to our personal viewing tastes which mostly seemed to come from elsewhere in the world, the UK, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Africa, Canada, that wasn't available to us from other sources.


In fact other than Mare of Easttown, which we just finished up last night, (We thought it was pretty darn good, if a little emotionally tense.) I had to go back through our Netflix DVD rental history to March of 2020 to find the last time we rented anything produced in the US. And frankly it was a bit of an emotional stretch for us but we'd watched the first two seasons and felt an obligation to give this one a try then ended up getting caught up in the plot.


At least that - Netflix DVD being our only option - was the case until a few months ago.

It all started to fall apart for Netflix DVD when The Wife's coveted and carefully horded flip-phone literally fell apart in her hand and she decided it was time to make the reluctant move to a proper smart-phone, and while we were at it, explore other service providers.

In researching this move we discovered that T-Mobil's expanding coverage let us ditch our expensive yet still limited-data Verizon 3G (supposedly 4G but we rarely had that level of service out here) plan for  two lines of T-Mobile's unlimited data 5G service (and we actually get 5G here on the property about 70% of the time!) for about 2/3rds the cost of our one voice (The Wife's) and one limited data (Mine) Verizon lines.

Next, even though we weren't looking for it at the time, Amazon gave us a coupon that let us get a Firestick for free and because it was there we decided what the hell.

Of course we can't use the Firestick as intended because of the limited speed and data on our satellite internet connection, (In fact we try to remember to turn the satellite internet modem off when using the Firestick just to make sure there aren't any 'accidents'.) but what it would do is allow us to use the mirroring function to connect the video from our phones to our non-smart TV. (Even though we don't use the Firestick in the 'normal' way I've also shut down permissions and stuff based on this video to tighten up security and privacy.) 

Along with our Amazon Prime membership (more than paid for in savings through Whole Foods) comes access to Prime Video.

A few experiments with that on my phone using both pre-downloaded as well as streamed (always over the cell service) shows worked out well and now, successfully combining that with the screen-mirroring function of the Firestick, we have an entirely new option here!


Some additional research showed us that adding subscriptions to Acorn, Britbox, and PBS Masterpiece to our Prime portfolio, all paid and managed through the single point of our Amazon Prime account, would give us instant and unlimited access to a huge untapped, source of new-to-us shows that match our tastes.

And the cost of all three of these subscriptions together would only be a few dollars more than our Netflix DVD membership! (We have decided to just stick with Acorn ($6.99) for the moment and will add the others in later.)

So goodbye Netflix DVD!!

Goodbye to tracking our mail deliveries and planning trips to town around those red Netflix DVD envelopes.

Goodbye to sweating through thousands of entries in the catalog (between Netflix DVD's slow servers and our slow internet connection a long and painful process!) in the hopes of finding one or two items we might be interested in.

Goodbye to the frustration of repeatedly having our carefully curated selections wait-listed or sidelined in the save queue.

And since we can now sit down in the evening and decide right then and there what we want to watch, goodbye to meticulously planning out our viewing choices a couple of weeks ahead of time. 



And after 17 years at $17 and change per month - including taxes -




and, according to our rental history, 1717 disks rented, it seemed kinda fitting to click that last button today!